Step One to Setting a Wedding Budget You Can Stick To

Step 1: Talk to all contributing parties

As the cost of weddings increase all across the country, so does the number of people paying for them. Although tradition says that the bride's parents pay for the whole thing, this is frequently untrue for today's couples. If you are in the lucky minority of couples who can afford to pay for the whole shebang yourselves, you've got it easy. If you want your families to help you out, or pay for it all, you should have a frank discussion with them about it. You might say something like "Fiancé and I are starting to plan our wedding, and we wanted to ask you if you might help pay for it." You should be prepared for questions, such as "How much do you think the whole thing will cost" and some other questions that you might not know the answer to. Hopefully you won't hear something like "Who are you, and what are you doing in our house?" You should say that the average wedding cost now is about $25,000, but that you'll base your wedding budget on what is available to you.

Regardless of who is contributing to the budget of the big day, you’ll need to sit down with everyone and discuss how to logically divide the tab and arrive at a total number.

Tradition states that the bride’s parents are responsible for fronting the bill for the wedding reception; these days, the bride’s parents, groom’s parents, and the couple themselves all contribute to the wedding pool. That said, it helps to come to the budgeting table prepped with the traditional list of which side pays for what.

Wedding Costs Traditionally Paid by the Bride and/or Bride’s Parents:

* Ceremony rental fee
* Bride’s dress and accessories
* Ceremony flowers and décor
* Bouquets for bridesmaids and flower girl
* Photography and videography
* Engagement party
* Bridesmaids’ luncheon
* All vendor services for reception, including food, beverages, décor, and entertainment
* Groom’s ring
* Invitations and stationery
* Transportation for bridal party to and from ceremony and reception

Wedding Costs Paid by the Groom and/or Groom’s Parents:

* Marriage license and officiant’s fee
* Groom’s attire
* Bride’s bouquet, boutonnieres for ushers, and corsages for mothers and grandmothers
* Honeymoon Travel
* Rehearsal dinner
* Bachelors’ dinner
* Both of the bride’s rings

Costs Incurred by the Wedding Attendants:

* Their own attire, including shoes and accessories
* Bridal party hosts bridal shower and bachelorette party
• Groom’s party hosts the bachelor party

Now that you know you know what traditional wedding etiquette dictates you can sit down with everyone contributing money to the budget and figure out who is comfortable paying for what.

There are several options:

* Parents can say that they are contributing a specific dollar amount, and then the couple decides on a wedding budget and makes up any difference themselves.

* Parents can say that they want to pay for specific items such as the bride's attire, the rehearsal dinner or the catering. The couple then has to figure out how to pay for everything else. You could use this article, Who Pays for What at a Wedding as a starting-off point.

* The couple can set a budget and then ask to split it evenly. This is particularly a good solution for divided families. For example, the couple, the mother of the bride, the father of the bride, and the groom's parents will each contribute $5000, for a total of a $20,000 wedding budget.

Communication is the key for any negotiation involving money. Be open and honest about your expectations, and ask that everyone else is open to express what they are comfortable spending. Watch for Step Two when I talk about allocating your budget for each service.